Sitting here, on the floor on the quiet floor yet again, and I am panicking a little. Did an extremely shitty job, but it should be enough to pass the class and that's all that matters. And she'll be all chirpy because she finished her final this morning.
Now I'm trying to finish my second assignment and to do a fairly shitty job on that as well, but it just isn't working!! I have no clue how people actually want to party after finishing finals. There also is a slight chance I actually got less than 40% and actually failed.
I've wanted this for a while, but have never been comfortable enough or serious about going out and getting it. Then tomorrow I will just memorize everything before my final at 7PM. Wah I've never been this sad to have to study and not socialize in my life.
Of course, there is still the "problem" of finding people to hook up with. At my normal university, people I know don't fucking drink wine during finals week, what the hell?
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Oh and start completing the 13 1/2 hours of workshift I need to do within the next five days if I don't want to be fined.
You are thrust into the unenviable situation of being a lonely survivor of a zombie infestation.
I'm afraid of the future and afraid of everything and I want to curl in a ball and cry. For example, this morning, I overheard a girl being like "Wow! I also should be shooting for higher than forty percent, you know? Probably should have done the adderall one of the last few days.
But instead, I will seriously try to cram for this final aaaaahhhhh. I really didn't expect to care so little when I first came here. Like, come on, it's fucking finals week, stop having fun. Greg is distracting, co-op is distracting, and mostly my own mind is distracting. I haven't blacked out so much in the past two weeks as I have in the whole year!
Okay, later, I finished the second shitty assignment mostly.
I just need to edit a little and throw in some page numbers. I'm not getting A's no matter what, which means I can't share these grades with anyone, which means the grades I get literally don't matter as long as I pass.