My best friend is dating the girl i love
I’m trying to carry on her fundraising work as I feel that makes her life count – and makes me feel as though I am keeping her memory alive.I’ve arranged a lot of things in Emma’s memory at school.Remembering those conversations made me smile, but inside my heart was breaking that my best friend was not by my side on our special day.
She climbed Mount Snowdon with a team of volunteers carrying 135 bears in rucksacks – including her fundraising mascot Daisy Bear (Emma’s middle name was Daisy) who even has her own Facebook page, which helps friends keep up to date with fundraising events in Emma’s memory.We went to each other’s houses after school, had sleepovers, went to the park, shopping – all the normal things. We were part of a bigger group, but the two of us were very tight. I was on the way to school on the bus, and Mum texted me to go to reception once I got there. People didn’t talk about Emma and if they mentioned her name they would look at me and stop in case they upset me.She had jumped in the car to come and tell me before I got to my classroom. It was something that just shouldn’t have happened. To begin with it was hard to concentrate, especially at school, as we used to spend so much time together.‘As a result the emotions that survivors are sometimes left with can be quite intense. Did I do the right thing in telling or not telling somebody else about the person’s suicidal thoughts?They can feel shame and guilt that is unfounded but completely understandable. Why didn’t I pick up on what they were hinting at in their social media post? We first met when we started secondary school and it was pretty much instant – we spent the whole time laughing. Initially, people kept asking me if I was OK, and that made me cry a lot.