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The man in those unfinished relationships may be temporarily available to a new partner, but is highly likely to go back to his other relationship.Time the Prior Relationship Has Existed All committed relationships go through stages where the partners feel connected and that they wouldn’t want to be with anyone else, and other times where one or both starts to feel that the partnership is on a collision course.This is one of the most common dilemmas my patients have brought to me over the past four decades.Though there are multiple variations on the theme, there is one way in which they all are similar: two women are in a competitive triangle with the same man.In either case, a relationship they begin while being separated is just another kind of infidelity.Men who do not find themselves ever satisfied with only one woman are clearly not likely candidates to change that behavior in the future.Triangles are stable when all three legs are connected.

People in unstable situations often make in-the-moment decisions that have nothing to do with what they may need or want as time elapses.Many people considering divorce are in the throes of conflict and don’t want another source of trouble adding to what is already a difficult situation.That is especially true if the new relationship can threaten the other partner’s potential access to resources or loss of what they have.They are at a loss when it happens, but still feel attached to their history, friends, children, financial situation, mutual families, and a deeper caring.After a time apart, they realize that they want to make the relationship work and are highly motivated to make that happen.

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